It’s my birthday tomorrow! Oh gawd, I’ve got Annie’s ‘Tomorrow’ stuck in my head now! …. ‘The sun will come out TOMORROW! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be SUUUUN!’.
Sorry, I know you’re probably cursing me and you’ll have that song in your head for the rest of the day now too. I say, embrace the song, sing it loud and proud, it’s a feel good song and I just LOVE Annie!
ANYWAY… Yaaah as I was saying, it’s my birthday tomorrow! Now please do not panic if you have not got my gift/card/flowers/gluten free cake sorted yet. I appreciate belated birthday gifts just as much as the ones I receive on the day. So take your time, I’ll just be over here waiting (FYI I love carrot cake, and I also reaaaally want one of those hover boards all the cool kids are currently zooming around London on).
Over the past week I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learnt since my last birthday, because birthdays do that to you right? They make you all reflective and thinking ‘but what does my life meaaaan?!’.
So here’s a little list I’ve compiled. What I’ve learnt, discovered, realised and come to accept ….
1. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING
For real. No one has a clue what they’re doing. It’s really hit home to me this past year, that even though people look like they’ve got their shit together, they don’t. We are all Oscar winning worthy actors and actresses, and we can so easily portray that our lives are perfect and we know exactly where we are going with them. I truly came to realise this year, that we’re all just as confused and unsure as each other. Those friends, couples, and family members that look so sure about life, so confident in their future, they’re just not. We’re all just stumbling along, doing the best we can, and I find so much comfort in knowing we’re as lost as each other.
2. TALKING IS SO IMPORTANT
The reason I’ve realised that no one else truly knows what they’re doing is because I talk. A lot. To friends. To family. To people I’ve just met. I talk about my fears, my worries, life, and I ask their opinions and advice. I find so much comfort in talking to people, and I’ve found that people find so much comfort in me talking to them. This year I’ve had a lot to figure out, and I’ve needed to bounce my headspace off other people, to get their feedback, and what has shocked me most is how surprised people have been about my honesty, and willingness to talk. I met someone on a night out two months ago, we got into a deep discussion, and she said to me ‘You’re the most real person I’ve spoken to in a long time!’ Another person I met for the first time a few weeks ago told me ‘I’m so glad I’ve had this conversation with you, it makes me feel so much better about myself’. And this makes me glad that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it leaves me wishing that more people would do the same. You don’t have to tell the world your problems, but sharing with the right people helps you make sense of yourself.
3. LIFE TRANSITIONS ARE A BITCH
Yep they are. I never really understood what a life transition felt like until this year. I mean, there’s been previous transitions, finishing high school, getting my first job, moving to London etc. And yeah I remember those moments were really tough at times. But I’d never before felt the real weight of a transition like I have this year. And it’s not even like someone can say, at 15 you’ll go through this transition, another one will come along at age 25, etc etc, because we all experience them at different times of our lives. I just wish I’d been more prepared for how tough they can be. It’s scary thinking about making huge changes in your life, letting go of your past, moving onto the next stage. It hit me like a brick wall, with an anvil dropped on me for added effect. I just hope that by going through this life transition, and struggling with it, that when the next one comes along, I’ll be prepared for the fact that it’s not easy, but I will find my way through it eventually. It just takes time figuring out what you want.
4. FEAR NEEDS TO GO TAKE A HIKE
Oh fear, you shitty little emotion you. How much I’ve learnt about this emotion in the past year, I can’t even begin to tell you. Fear is there to alert us when there’s danger, which is awesome and kinda vital! But sometimes, fear decides it’s boss, and that it’s going to rule every decision you make, every feeling you have, every thought in your head. Oh how I know this to be true, because fear had me by the throat this past year, and it was squeezing the air out of me. And the problem with fear, is that it doesn’t allow you to make good decisions, it’s always there pointing out why something is a bad idea. And it’s hard not to listen to it! But the more I educated myself on how fear effects you, the more I’ve felt like slowly, oh so slowly, I’m starting to regain the controls, and getting back in the drivers seat, so that despite fear trying to tell me ‘Don’t Do It!’, ‘That’s a Terrible Idea Annmaree!’, I’ve been able to tell it to go sit in the corner for a time out and I’ve been able to make decisions regardless of its presence. Take my advice, never make a decision that’s coming from fear.
5. LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE
It really is. I do believe crying is also a fantastic release, but the feeling laughter gives you is the best. Seek out those who make you laugh, because that shit is good for your soul! I love laughing, and apparently my laugh is quite memorable (I think it’s because I laugh so loudly that no one can forget it, oops!). Laughing is good anytime, when you’re feeling up, when you’re feeling down. You never ever regret a moment where your face is crinkled with smile lines, and your stomach aches from laughing. It’s the best medicine. If only for a moment, it can make everything better in an instant.
So guys, that’s what I’ve learnt! Well actually there is sooo much more I could list, but those five lessons are some of the most important and relevant over the past year. Believe me, some days I forget all this stuff, and I need to remind myself of them. And we all have different lessons we learn in life, we won’t all experience the same thing, but I hope these help you!
What lessons have you learnt in life?