We need to talk about trainers. Trainers? Sneakers? Whatever you prefer to call them, they are my go-to shoe. It’s not that I don’t like high heels, or heeled boots, it’s just that I prefer trainers.
One thing you will NEVER see me in is ballet pumps, because, well, apart from the fact I don’t feel they suit my personality, I also just look like a dick. You see, I’m super short and I have decent sized calves, so if I slip on a pair of pumps I look like I should pack up my shit and relocate to the yellow brick road. #shortanddumpy is a hashtag I would rather avoid.
So apart from the occasional ankle boot wearing day, and if I really have to wear high heels then I will. But other than that? Give me trainers. All the trainers! And here is 10 reasons why I love them so:
1. You’re adventure ready at all times when you wear trainers. You can walk for miles without that nausea inducing ache under your feet that a heel is guaranteed to give you.
2. Dancing. You can pull out your best Michael Jackson moves in trainers. In heels? Well if you like doing the side to side shuffle all night, then I guess it’s not a problem for you to wear em. Me? In a club? Guaranteed every time, I’d wear heels to the club, I’d walk to the dance floor, I’d pull a pair of trainers out of my bag and the heels got ditched. I’m all about the Michael Jackson moves. Not so much a side to side shuffling kinda gal.
3. Ever finished a night clubbing in heels, sat your ass down on that night bus/taxi seat only to feel that throbbing pain starting up on the balls of your feet. The pain getting worse, the nearest bus stop to your house getting closer. And knowing you just cannot put those heels back on. Having to accept that you will walk home barefoot, because whatever disease ridden stuff is hanging out on that sidewalk, is easier to grin and bear, than the agony of slipping those heels back on. If only you’d worn trainers.
4. I once ran through Soho, NYC at midnight during a December snow blizzard, in heels. It was like the Hunger Games, running for your life, and trying to be the first one to make it to one of the very few available taxi’s. That was a major shoe fail. If I’d worn trainers, my survival sprint would have been much easier.
5. When I’m walking down my street late at night, trainers are as a silent as a ninja. Heels? No so much. Click-clack-click-clack. Now the whole neighbourhood is awake thanks to my shoes.
6. With the right pair of trainers, you instantly become 27% cooler the moment you slip them on. (That’s totally a fact okay). Your street cred has just sky rocketed.
7. In today’s fashion world, there’s no age limit on how old you should be before you should stop wearing trainers. Mothers: You no longer have to put your ‘mum shoes’ on because your teenager refuses to leave the house with you, when you pop on your latest pair of New Balance. Trainers are now acceptable for any cool kid, of any age.
8. You don’t have to be an extreme athlete to justify owning a large trainer collection. This is a case of fashion over function. We now have trainers for ‘fashion’, and trainers for ‘function’. You can be the laziest sod in the world, but still rock out in a pair of trainers.
9. If you have small feet, you can buy the same adult version over in the kids section, but cheaper. Oh wait, maybe this is just me? #minifeet
10. They come in a gazillion awesome colours and styles. And that’s good enough reason to own a pair. Or two. Or 18.