On a cold, winter Sunday in London, The Boy Next Door and I were off on a mission. To a former Christian mission to be exact. The crew that brought us MEATliquor and MEATmarket (two of our favourite London burger pitstops!) had opened MEATmission ages ago, and we still hadn’t been! So we were off on a journey to right this terrible wrong.
Located just behind Hoxton Square, MEATmission offers all the usual favourites from their other joints, plus a few extras.
Entering through the big red door, under the neon Mission sign we were greeted by a waitress who led us to our table.
The first thing you notice when you enter MEATmission, is the dark and grungy feel off the place. Which I personally loved!
The stained glass ceiling was not your usual rainbow mosaic. But a rather extreme version of The Last Supper.
Booths line the walls and large communal tables make up the centre of the room. There’s a Photo Booth too! Except it was out of order! A piece of heart definitely broke off on that little discovery.
We got down to business, and started to scan the menu options.
TBND can never look past the Dead Hippie burger. He swears it’s the best burger you can possibly eat. I went for the Bacon Cheeseburger, and because our eyes are always bigger than our stomach’s we also ordered Hippie Fries and Mac n Cheese Logs. No big deal, just a meal fit for a sumo wrestler in his bulking phase, we’d be fine.
I rudely stared at others eating as we waited for our food to arrive, but thankfully the MEATmission chefs were on their game and our tray of cheesy, meaty goodness soon arrived.
Our tray was set down in front of us and our mouths started watering much like Homer Simpson’s often does.
Except TBND knows better than to dive in and take a bite. That poor suffering soul must wait until I’ve taken a few photos. I’m teaching him willpower! Or as he’d probably describe it ‘suffering’.
Finally we took our first bites, and there’s something about those burgers from the MEAT gang, they just sort of make you have this moment as you sink your teeth in, where angels sing, birds chirp and rainbows appear in a moment of utter food satisfaction.
What they also do is turn us into wild animals, where we lose complete control of ourselves, literally stuffing burgers and fries into our mouth’s as if it really was our Last Supper. We pay the bill and roll out the MEATmission door declaring ‘We are NOT getting the fries next time, every time we do this to ourselves! It’s too much food!’ and then the next time around, we order the fries again.
Heading back towards Hoxton Square, we walked along the cobbled streets, or more to the point, waddled along the cobbled streets.
I stopped for some style snaps. The Boy Next Door has the patience of a saint, but at the same time tries to take the pics at lightning speed to draw as little attention to us as possible. Except I’m never satisfied with the first picture…
No a little blurry, another please…
Okay better, but my shoes are out of focus, so one more for good luck!…
Ta-da! On that cold winter day I wrapped up in my H&M blue denim shirt, covered up with my Zara angora jumper and All Saints leather jacket. Black Zara skinny jeans and black Nikes, with the finishing touch of a New York Knicks cap to keep my head warm!
It’s amazing what an hour and a little stroll in the fresh air can do for you. Because it was about that long after downing our burgers that we suddenly decided it was indeed a very good idea to get milkshakes.
Having walked passed The Love Shake numerous times, but never venturing in, the fact that we were just around the corner, made it all the more reason to tick this place off the food bucket list.
The milkshake making process, was a slow one, so I took the viewpoint that this must be a good thing and that they were putting extra time into the process to make it extra good.
When our shakes were handed over, and I took my first slurp, my suspicions were absolutely right. This was the BEST DAMN MILKSHAKE I HAD EVER TASTED!
I always go for a Peanut Butter and Chocolate milkshake, it’s a no brainer, being the best flavour you can possibly ask for. TBND went for an Oreo shake (fool!), and we both agreed mine was the winner. I need to get back there pronto, and y’all need to get yourselves there too!
We walked off into the afternoon sun, mentally counting up the calories, realising we couldn’t count that high, gave up and head home.