Soooo, yes I was one of those lucky bastards that got tickets to Dismaland. When I say ‘lucky’, I did sit at my laptop with two internet browsers open, pressing the refresh button so many times, it was like being back in the Eighties playing a space invaders game.
After ten minutes of browser refreshing, I got through to the payment page and quickly entered my credit card details to secure tickets. A couple of weeks later, myself and a friend were on a train to Weston-super-mare to spend the day finding out how just dismal Dismaland really was.
After lining up and going through the airport security checks, (which meant walking through a body scanner made of cardboard, with angry looking staff walking around with cardboard machine guns), we finally walked into Dismaland.
It was certainly Dismal, with wires hanging out of ceilings, weeds growing through the crumbling concrete, and a ferris wheel that was so rickety it looked like it was built in 1923. But the whole thing was Dismal in the most perfect of ways.
We started out with a walk through the castle, where Cinderella had been in a terrible accident and the paparazzi were going wild.
The staff were ‘working hard’, looking thoroughly pissed off.
We passed the Selfie Hole and I could not miss the opportunity to snap a selfie!
In one of the buildings a bunch of artists works were hanging on the walls, and some were truly amazing. This watermelon for example!
And this guy, I mean I NEED this piece of art in my life!
And then we spotted Cookie Monster looking wild eyed and on the loose.
Every which way we turned there was something else to photograph, or a dodgy children’s ride to jump on.
The Dismaland speakers played some sort of Hawaiian-esque hula music throughout the day, interrupted with messages along the lines of ‘Private property is to blame for the rise of theft’.
We got so lucky with the weather, and the sun shone bright and warm, so we spent a chunk of time people watching. I mean, I think you can kinda imagine the weird and wonderful types Dismaland attracted. People watching at its finest!
As I was just saying, ‘you can kinda imagine the weird and wonderful types Dismaland attracted’. And good day to you too young lady in blue!
I’d been desperate for one of the ‘I am an Imbecile’ balloons, because why not? Until I saw the effort you had to put in to get one! The Dismaland employee was having a great time making the punters look like fools, as they jumped up and down, waving money at him as he decided who could have one. It looked way too energetic, not to mention the idea of carrying a helium balloon back to London on a three hour train ride seemed a little ridiculous.
Shamu even made an appearance all the way from Sea World.
Everyone keeps asking ‘What was Dismaland like?’ and I can only say ‘Equal amounts awesome and insane’. The artwork and the sculptures were pretty damn awesome and the staff genuinely seemed pissed off at all times which was hilarious and unnerving at the same time.
At the end of the day we had to ‘Exit Through The Gift Shop’, which Banksy fans will recognise as the name of his documentary. Just one last nod towards the detail that went in to making this bemusement park such a memorable experience.